How do you feel after endlessly scrolling on social media? Do you find yourself buying items to make you feel good or because someone you like on the internet recommended it? If so, you need to check your influence. Ask how their impact is adding value to your life. Are you growing as a person from the content you’re consuming or is it making you feel inadequate and broke?
The reality is, we will always feel the need to grow, compete and connect. Social media offers a perfect mix of all three conveniently at your fingertips. You just have to pick your poison and know how to use it to your advantage. With the power of the internet, the consumption and distribution of content are magnified to the point where someone’s influence has become today’s currency in marketing.
Regardless of intention and platform —whether it’s in real life or digital, know that anyone you surround yourself with will have an influence on you. Take control and make sure that you are only allowing those who will bring value to your life influence you. I started to live by the quote below to make sure that I’m only following hard-working, goal-oriented, positive, motivational and influential people who started from nothing and became successful through perseverance.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Jim Rohn
In my experience, the last 6 months have been a testament to what a combination of influence and action will get you. I found that once I removed the vanity influence in my life and replaced it with self-developmental influence, my life started to turn for the better. I wouldn’t have imagined that I could achieve as much as I did in a short period of time. It makes me hopeful for what the next few more months of absolute focus and discipline will do.
I noticed that after spending time on social media, I would feel so fired up after I put my phone down. I become so excited to take on the day and go after my goals. Try to remember how you feel after being on social media. What actions did you find yourself taking after the fact?
There has been a big difference from when I used to follow “the Joneses.” I would put my phone down and feel really upset and hopeless thinking “I’ll never be as cool as they are” or “I need that expensive purse to be as cool as they are but I really can’t afford that.” I’d then go into some form of self-loathing because it’s easy to blame my situation rather than do something about it.
The biggest problem will always be trying so hard to be someone else when we’re all created differently. We will never be like the other person. We’re so much cooler being ourselves —I know it’s easier said than done. Believe me, I know. I still have to convince myself sometimes but it’s important to remember that the Joneses are also Jonesing on someone else. Where will it end? We have to take a different perspective and try to find the best parts of ourselves and be proud of it. Be mindful of how you want to continue the influence cycle.
Maybe instead of wondering how you can be like someone else, try to think about the people who look up to you. Are you setting a good example? How do you want them to feel? What kind of influence do you want others to get from you? I’ve decided that I want to motivate others to spread kindness, live intentionally and be empowered to manage their finances.
When you spend money to impress others, the only return you’re getting is a second of attention, fake friends, a negative balance in your bank account, being a victim of marketing and a source of the continuous cycle of vanity. When you spend money to invest in yourself or in assets, you will feel pride in your hard work, find true friends, have the power to build generational wealth and live worry-free. Live life on your own terms! You’re being smarter by filling your own pockets rather than making other brands or influencers richer.
After focusing on my own goals and seeing my real potential, I realize that I was letting the fear of judgment or not fitting into the social norm affect my view of success. I had to sit with myself and wonder what success means outside of money and career. To me, real wealth was having all the time in the world to spend traveling and living my fullest life with the people I love. Seeing the bigger picture made me realize that worrying about other people’s approval won’t pay my debts nor will it pay for my plane tickets to see the world.
I had to let go of any negative speak and made-up standard to regain my footing in the world. I had to find out what kind of relationships I deserved and what kind of respect I want from others. A fancy purse may attract social media attention but I realized that my real friends only care about having fun conversations, memorable hangouts, belly laughs and a true friend who can be there for them in tough times without judgment —and honestly, so do I.
Try to focus on being kind to yourself and others. Real people need real connections and that’s what we should all try to remember in life. Not the material things, just love.
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